One of Our Major Problems in Life

“If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise.” - Robert Fritz.

Sometimes we just feel deep inside that we need to change something. Well, that is exactly what is always happening to me. People say changes are good, and I know they are but it's not good to be constantly changing everything. Since I am a little girl my mom always told me that I am too "hesitant" because of my attempts for making a good choice, and I think sometimes I take the right decision but I end up in regret later. That has been my major problem for years with boys, friends, ordering in a restaurants, choosing a prize , and deciding what to write about in this blog.

I always knew how I was, not just because of my mom's observations, but because of my friend's too. Even one of my ex boyfriends made me realize of my problem with choices. I became his girlfriend without knowing that the only thing I wanted from him was his friendship. And I think I messed it up a little bit more when I coldly told him the truth about it. Embarrassing, I know.But I couldn't find a better example to explain my problem with decisions. I used to ask people "do you have an idea of why am I this way?"  and guess what they used to say... "I have no idea, your are the one who is supposed to know that". Until finally one day we were talking about this with one of my best friends in class, when suddenly Miss Wendy, one of the best teachers I've ever had, came randomly and she kind of introduced herself into the conversation to ask me what was wrong. I explained her my situation, specially with boys because I really wanted to find out what the hell was wrong with me. You might have known the answer since you started reading this, but I never thought that it would be seeing the downside of things.

I was so impressed by the simple and logical answer of that teacher, I couldn't actually believe that finally the response to my prayers appeared. The next few weeks I proposed to myself ; "OK Ale, from now on you will start looking at the bright side of people and things and care less about the negative side". And from that day on I started to be a positive girl and I have also learned that if we make a bad choice we learn not to take it again, and if we make a good one be sure that we did the right thing without regretting because you can not be sorry for something that made you feel good. 

Still, there's always that feeling of insecurity when I have to make a choice, but I guess we all feel exactly the same standing in that situation, which makes me feel a normal part of human race. I don't know if boys think the same but when it comes to love, decisions are a basic need that determine what "will come after" (I swear that came out from my head, not from Google). Sometimes when we take a hasty decision without head thinking, just with the heart that leads us to do something that makes us want to go back in time and rewrite our story. If you ever saw "The Ugly Truth", one of my favorite movies, you will perfectly understand what I just said. I'm not trying to declare that boys have no feelings but let's face reality, their hormones are almost always more powerful than their feelings.

So what I finally conclude from this blog post is that Choices are and will be one of our major problems in life, but there's nothing to worry about because they all have a solution. One little decision can lead you to a huge mistake or one of the best choices in your life, so be sure to always think before you act .  

Apart? Maybe In Distance, But Never In Heart.

 January 15 of 2009, the day I met my best friend. I can still remember that day like it was yesterday. New school, new friends, new teachers, almost like a new life. Everyone knows how it feels to be knew at school, but watching her come jumping to me like a five year old girl in the school entrance kinda made me feel more comfortable. Ana Gaitan, my best friend, was coming with one of my friends called Leidy to help me carry my stuff. When we got there she introduced me with every student she knew, and I quickly became friends with them. 

She has brown hair, very white skin, wears glasses, like my size and her face looks red (pretty funny). We became best friends since the first day of school, and we have trusted each other many dark secrets that I hope just the two of us know. We have supported each other in every fight, even though one of us knew the other wasn't right, because that is exactly what best friends are for. and God! how we loved fights, specially with teachers, those were our favorites. I remember how we used to gather the "boycott students" and went to complain with the principal about a teacher we didn't like. We got a couple of them out of our way, and the rest were unsuccessful attempts.  

The first time she came to my house, I must admit I felt a little nervous for what she was going to think about my life environment. We went to a rodeo and she came out singing "rancheras" with my mom in the car. When she said "Your family seems pretty much like mine, and I love that!", those words were the ones that made me feel released. We spent the whole night having fun together, she seemed like my best friend from years, and I just met her a few weeks before. 

There is still something that I don't understand in my head, and was that about March we stopped seen each other at recess, but it wasn't because of a fight or something like that. She went by her side and I went by mine, we did that like for one month but things were still the same when suddenly everything returned to normal. Weird, I know. But from that day, we never separate again until the last day of school. We were both going to different schools, and promised to keep our friendship for ever. "Together forever, never apart. Maybe in distance, but never in heart". And we have kept that promise from that day ( almost three years ago) until now. 

The next year, 2010, for my birthday I remember coming back of school and listening to my grandma say "Go do your bed, your mother had a long day and she couldn't fix your room". I just thought "Isn't Mary (our employee) supposed to do that?". And while I was thinking that I opened my door and saw my bed full of balloons, a big poster and a huge chocolate cake with a lot of gummy bears on top of it. She was the first person who gave me a surprise like that for my birthday. And that was just one of thousands of things she has done to prove what kind of amazing friend she is. 

My whole family calls her "Mona", that is how I introduced her because it was just one of many nicknames we have. One day I remember my causing saying Ana was stupid by nature, I expected her to get mad when I told her that, but instead, she couldn't stop laughing about it. I guess my cousin was right, but that's why I love her so much. My best friend is unique and I know that as hard as I try, I won't be able to find someone like her. She has changed many good things on me, and believe it or not, I did the same with her. We are like opposite poles, which  is something good because they attract and match perfectly, just as our friendship does.